No one can understand that pain that I feel everyday. Not just from losing Steve but feeling so alone. Yes I have lots of friends and and I love them very much. But that doesn't take away the emptiness that I feel in my heart everyday. The loneliness is so hard. I went from being with the same man every day for 21 years to it only being me. It's only me in my bed every night when I go to sleep and only me when I wake up. It's only me when I have a bad day and when I cry. I don't have that shoulder to cry on and those arms wrapped tightly around me telling me it's going to be ok. It's not going to be ok. I'm not ok. I smile to hide my pain. My pain is there and it's real. I hate it when people tell me that it's not meant to be. That doesn't take away my pain. I need someone to take away my pain and hurt.
